rapidly diminishing positivity

why does it always seem that someone else deserves:
more attention;
more love;
more sympathy;
more care and concern?

or that someone else is:
more poor thing;
more sad;
more tired;
more stressed;
more pressured;
more traumatised;
more upset?

or that someone else's story is:
more sad;
more unfortunate?

cant pple stop comparing for a change?
cant pple just be a little LESS self-centred?
cant there be smthg called mutual understanding; mutual encouragement or mutual motivation?

the world doesnt just revolve ard YOU.

all this negativity is annoying the crap out of me!
just pls snap out of it!

close to you

just like me, they long to be, close to you.
- olivia ong's cover

spaced out

- currently feeling zonked out -

2 papers down, 1 more to go.
the last and final paper of my life. hopefully.
pls dun get me wrong... it's not tt i'm pessimistic. i'm jus trying to manage my own expectations.
now, it's not abt how much more i can cramp in for the mod.
cos, not only is my brain saturated, i'm super exhausted too.
perhaps my threshold for studies and memorising is really low?
*shrugs* i dont know...
i've come this far, i'm not abt to give up. not now.
i just need to hang in there.
just a few more days. the end is near.
i guess now it's not time to consider the "what-ifs" and scare myself.
just get it over and done with.
do my best! dats just it isnt it?
gosh... the risk and uncertainty is overbearing.
i just hope i can remember my case and the concepts.
i do not wish to be disappointed again. the assignment was painful enough.
God, pls pls pls help me!

five loaves and two fishes

take my five loaves and two fishes,
do with it as you will,
i surrender...

take my fears, my inhibitions,
all my burdens,
my ambitions,
you can use it all,
to feed them all...

i hope it's not too small...

i often think about that boy,
when i'm feeling small,
and i worry that the work i do,
means nthg at all...
but every single tear i cry,
is a diamond in His hands,
and every door that slams in my face,
i will offer up in prayer,
so i'll give You every breath that i have,
Oh Lord, You can work miracles,
all You need is my Amen...

陶喆－天天(David Tao - Close to you)

Leon, u sing great la! haha. thanks for cheering me up dude! :)

Dream a Little Dream - Laura Fygi

bittersweet send-off

she left today just as she did before,
standing behind glass windows,
watching her as she got thru customs,
it was bittersweet,
all i cud do was wave.
a part of me knew she'd be back (most prob) Dec 2009,
that seems so near yet so far.

i got reminded of the day he left too - the familiar sights and surroundings of Terminal 1 wasnt the most pleasant. despite always looking forward to trips to the airport just to look at planes when i was little.

times have changed. pple come and go alot more now.
and it's time i learn to accept it and let go.
the pain cant always remain and haunt me.

i wish her well and i hope she has safely landed.
i know i'll miss my aunt very very much.

wedding @ Raffles

it was cousin Julian's wedding @ The Ballroom in Raffles Hotel - typical Chinese sit-down 8-course dinner.
it was good.
the wedding couple's "brothers" and "sisters" collectively put together a hilarious video clip - cartoon style of how the two got to know each other thru to marriage.
it's touching, in a cutesy, funny way, really.
nicely done! :)

food was yummy, cept tt dad was wondering how come the cocktail recep is so slack! haha.
they didnt provide any tidbits such as peanuts etc etc. jus drinks... i guess thats the norm these days la. peanuts will be so low class! haa.
perhaps some sandwiches or light snacks might work better.
then again, that concept might not work too well with the whole Chinese dinner.

took a few pix but they r in my aunt's and dad's camera... i didnt bring my own. half the time had to help others take pix instead! haha.

it's nice to finally see Julian get married and settle down... lucky fella is going to Japan and Hawaii for his honeymoon! how awesome!!!
marriage is such a blessed union isnt it? as a kid, attending weddings, my perspective back then was, so happy and envious of the bride cos of her nice puffy/flowy gown! the whole excitement of me dressing up too! haha. i'll hv nice dresses to wear too! =P
now is still pretty much the same mentality, just with some added thoughts...
such as "how if i cannot make it?" or "how if i'm left on the shelf!" hahaha...
but nvm. i believe God has a plan and purpose for me. so just simply trust Him. leave it all in God's hands.
the less u think, the less your worries! ;)

anyway now is one of my crappy periods again...
with exams ard the corner; SM being a pain, stuck at the back of my mind 24/7; my aunt leaving on tues early morn... these suck!
i really need to get thru the next 2 weeks. really.
God knows how worn out i am...
plssssss just let it all go fine...

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

really lovely song =)

credits.

when u think of the word credit, what do u tink of?

i think of phrases like:-
'thank you for trying.';
'thank you for ur time.';
'pls try agn next time.';
'nice try.';
'better luck next time.';
'not bad laaaaaaaa...';
'and the credit goes tooooooo *drumrolls*'

credits are what im only worth.

Be Prepared.

"Preparation is everything.
Noah did not start building the ark when it was raining."
- Warren Buffet

sudden thots

listening to Boston by Augustana made me have a sudden thot earlier this afternoon.
i wondered - how would it be like to work in New York?
i remembered what i said abt my NY trip last yr.
but holidaying and working are 2 very extremely different feelings/lifestyles.
tho the song is abt Boston and not NY.. but ya. jus a thot.

as i'm studying now... silence all ard me.
i feel quite lonely...
i suddenly wish i have a pet dog, who wud just silently keep me company...
sitting beside me, giving me support in its own way...
at least whn im stressed or upset, i can look at my doggy, carry it, talk to it and give it a hug.
im sure it wud be able to feel my emotions.
i can tell my doggy all my longings and feelings.

one day, some day, i really gotta stop my mind frm running wild.

disconnected

15 more days to my first paper.
so many activities happening all at the same time...

i gotta catch up. i'm behind schedule already.
keeping my fingers crossed that SM's exam case study wont be too tough.
God knows when they will release it...

at least we know we cleared MC's class test. now on to more impt things - exams.
last sem, so many things to prepare for.
so many things to think abt.
but it's impt to prioritise. and stop letting my thoughts run wild.

hate it when that happens.
i am my own control freak.

ok time to hit the books agn.

*in my weakness, He's my strength...

negaraku..(jangan sue saye.. saye takde duit..)

Timbaland - The Way I Are OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

my new favourite song!